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“I Refuse to Wear My Fiance’s EX-Wife’s Ring”

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“Dear Pam,

My fiancé wants to keep a wedding band from his previous marriage that ended in divorce. Since we share household expenses he thinks it is a waste of money to buy a new one. I am mortified and feel more than a bit insulted that he would want to do that. We are in premarital counseling now. What should I do?”
Signed,
New Wife w/Old Ring



Icon_Pams_Answer_90x90Dear “New Wife w/Old Ring,”

There are some men who are just plain ole simple and then there are some that are plain ole cheap.  I don’t know which one your man is, but you do have a right to feel slighted that he would want to pledge his “undying” love to you with a symbol of love he used for his ex-wife.  I’m not sure what your fiancé is thinking, but the “something old, something new” good luck tradition doesn’t apply here.  In fact the mere thought of using an old wedding band from a failed marriage should cause him pause.

weddingbandAlas, maybe I ask too much.  Since you are in pre-marital counseling, this is a great opportunity to speak up.  While you are discussing with the Pastor/counselor how many children you want and don’t want along with all of the keys to a healthy successful marriage, now would be the time to bring up the fact that you are not happy that he wants to keep his old ring.  I’m not sure of your financial situation, but you can get a wedding band from Walmart for as little as $20.  Most are online orders, but that shouldn’t be too hard to have the item sent to your local store and pick it up.

Regardless to what you decide to do, make sure you start off your marriage with communication. 

You don’t want to go into this new union holding on to resentment from the very beginning.  The lifetime you pledge to each other will be filled with nothing but heartache if you get off on the wrong foot.

 


Icon_Sensible-Homework_220x220bSensible Homework:

  • Look at the Walmart website and look at wedding bands that compliment your future husband’s personality.
  • Pick out a band and open up the conversation with your fiancé about what you are feeling. .

Have you ever been faced with a similar situation? 

If there is anyone out there who has had a similar experience, let us know in the comment section and tell us how you solved your problem.

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