“18 and Dating a 33 year old!”

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“Dear Pam

I just turned 18 and have started dating the electrician who services our apartment complex.  My mom is furious and thinks I should leave him alone.  She is angry because he is 33 years old and says he don’t want anything but sex from me.  I have always liked older men.  Am I wrong for dating this man?”

Not Young & Dumb

Icon_Pams_Answer_90x90Dear “Not Young & Dumb,”

The fact that you asked me this question lets me know that you already know the answer.  There are some things that are not in this letter, but I will answer what you have put before me.

Quick answer: Stop dating this man!

Mom-Daughter-ArguingYour mom is correct in the fact that a man that age is probably only interested in what you have to offer between your legs.

The fact that you have just turned 18 gives me pause in the fact that this electrician has probably been eyeing you before you were legal.  Your mom has every right to be furious.  As a mother I would be as well.

What does this 33 year old man see in you? 

You are a baby.  My thought is that he will use your little body up until he is done and move on to the next.  You live in an apartment complex, which means this man is in and out of many apartments, in which many probably belong to women.  There is no doubt in my mind that you are not the only one he is seeing.

What can you offer this man?

young-girlYou are 18, so you probably have no real world experience.  In my opinion, you can do absolutely nothing for this man.  What do you know about life’s struggles and triumphs?  Will you be able to support this man’s ideas and endeavors?


In short, what is it you bring to the table?

You mention you have always liked older men.  I also noticed that you didn’t mention a father in this equation.  I believe that you are looking for just that; a father figure.

This man can’t be that for you.  I don’t want to read more into this question than there is, but I think you should walk away from this one.


Sensible Homework:

  • Cut all communication with this older guy.  Ignore texts and phone calls.
  • If you are in college, check out the cuties in the student union at your school.
  • Talk with guys close to your age, ones that can identify with your views and what life may throw your way.
[Life Magazine]


What would you advise this young lady to do?   Would you tell her to date this older man or no? 

Let me know in the comment section below.



  1. Marie Parker

    November 22, 2013 at 3:34 am

    Pam I am a bit bias on this one. I am married to an older man and our age gap is larger. My Mom also said he didn’t want nothing but sex. I also didn’t have a father at home. My husband and I have been married almost 4 years and loving it. I will say to the young lady to take it slow. We dated 7 years. We got married when I was ready. Don’t make him your one and only. You are young. Make sure you have experienced life before you settle down. Wait to have sex. It was over a year before we had sex. It can work but have some fun before becoming a family.

    • Pamela Williams

      November 22, 2013 at 2:22 pm

      Marie you give some great and sound advice. Telling the young lady to experience life before settling down is great advice. I don’t have a problem with the age gap as much as I do with her just turning 18 years old. I think her mother has a right to be concerned based on what she might be seeing. I hope that this young lady heeds your advice and enjoys her life a little before settling down. Thanks so much for commenting!

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